POLITICS

DeSantis Announces He is Running For President

It was worse than I thought it would be

Caren White
3 min readMay 25

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Photo by Fran Jacquier on Unsplash

I suppose I have to talk about the Dark Lord’s announcement that he is running for president. I don’t really want to. It was such a non-event, even worse than I had imagined it would be.

And I have to stop calling him the Dark Lord. He is looking a lot less lordly these days.

Especially after that Twitter fiasco. It was a great idea, but the execution was … typical of new technology?

The idea was to contrast DeSantis’ youth and comfort with technology to Trump’s age and preference for old-fashioned ranting at a lectern in front of a live audience.

The problem was that while Twitter is owned by a conservative, Elon Musk, who was willing to lob softball questions at DeSantis, the technology used is known to be glitch-y, which is tech speak for “we rolled this out before it was ready.”

Ronnie, the next time one of your enthusiastic but way too young campaign workers suggests you try out new software, have a couple of other people double-check that it actually works before you commit to it. You look very foolish when something predictably fails.

As for Elon, you should have reminded your underlings of the time he rolled out a new battery-powered truck, claiming the window glass was unbreakable. Remember? A guy gently tossed a couple of steel balls and the windows easily broke.

So after the Twitter shambles, Ronnie moved on to an interview on Fox News with more softball questions. His answers were full of impressive acronyms that he didn’t explain.

Ronnie, honey, remember who your audience is. These are people who are so dumb that they think Trump is smart. You have to lose the acronyms and speak in words of one syllable or less if you want them to understand you.

One thing Ronnie is doing right is drawing very clear contrasts between himself and Trump. He is against abortion while Trump … won’t say.

Ronnie wants to use the government to battle “woke” businesses while Trump is just interested in making deals.

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Caren White

Top Writer in Politics and Government. I always speak my mind. Follow me on Mastodon @carenawhite