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DeSantis is Mobilizing For a Haitian Invasion
The Dark Lord is back!
Hey, whatever happened to Ron DeSantis? Remember him? The Dark Lord who turned Florida into a dystopian hellscape? Who was supposed to be the second coming of Trump?
Who knew he would flame out so quickly? Didn’t even make it to the New Hampshire primary.
Was it his rictus smile? When he smiled, it frightened small children. Parents now use it to keep their kids in line: be good or Ron DeSantis will smile at you.
Apparently, DeSantis slunk back to Florida in disgrace and has been laying low ever since. Maybe plotting a comeback in 2028 after intensive smile training?
You can’t keep a Dark Lord down for very long, though. Haiti has descended into chaos. It is also tantalizingly close to Florida. With a little effort, reachable by boat.
You know that DeSantis got a hard-on when he heard the news. Desperate dark-skinned people in boats headed for the Keys! He lives for that shit.
Amazingly, the Coast Guard, which does its job with no problem elsewhere in the country, in Florida, it is suddenly underfunded, undermanned, underboated … okay, I just made that up, but you get my drift.
