POLITICS

Mike Pence Gets His Own Town Hall

He hasn’t announced yet, but CNN has booked him

Photo by Chris Curry on Unsplash

You are never going to believe this, but CNN has scheduled another presidential town hall but this time with a non-candidate. Dana Bash will be moderating the discussion on June 7 with former vice president Mike Pence who hasn’t even declared his candidacy.

Yet. Maybe CNN knows something that we don’t.

Like maybe Pence is going to announce before or on that date and CNN wanted to grab him early before he got booked up.

Cuz he’s so popular and shit.

Is there some kind of zombie virus circulating that is causing people and organizations to go off the deep end when it comes to the 2024 election?

There’s all kinds of crazy shit going on and nobody seems to think that it’s strange.

Or maybe I have wandered into some kind of alternate reality.

So how many declared Republican candidates are there now and CNN wants to throw a party for Pence?

What’s the matter? Are they making too much money and want to give their sponsors a break by offering a discount if they buy time during the “Pence and His Pet Fly” show?

Oh, wait. CNN is doing a town hall with Nikki Haley on June 4 in Iowa. Jake Tapper will be moderating. She’s a declared candidate. There goes my theory.

Do you think the fly will show up during Pence’s town hall? Will there be separate questions for the fly? Like “What is Kamala like in person?”

Do you think Mother will be there? Is Pence even allowed to be sitting next to a woman onstage? How far apart do the chairs have to be? Did CNN have to clear the gender of the moderator with Mother?

I have so many questions.

I bet a lot of other people do too. But not the ones in the audience. The event is being held at Grand View University in Des Moines, Iowa so you know that the audience members will be tame like the ones at the Trump shitshow.

This time, it won’t just be Iowa Republicans. There will be Iowa voters too.